Wednesday, October 31, 2018

The Day I was born

The day I was born, they laid me in your arms and you watched me sleep. Then I fussed little bit and you fed me. I was your baby, and You looked into my eyes and you saw me. 
As I was growing up you'd still watch me sleep and when I'd fuss a little bit you would feed me. And still when You would look into my eyes you would see me. 
Now it's sometime later and I know some things are changing. You can still watch me sleep, and you can still even feed me. But please just know, if you're confused or afraid, just look into my eyes... I'm the same as I was that first day they laid me in your arms and you looked into my eyes and you saw me. 
I'm here and I love you!
Me 

You deserve it!

Being the mom of a LGBTQ kid adds a different dimension to our already sometimes chaotic life. Their health, mentality and protection are constant stressors whether they are still at home or already grown.
You are their mom. You love them. But you get tired too.
This may sound like a small thing but I want to encourage you at sometime during the day, every day, be it morning before everyone gets up, or maybe sometime before you go to bed. Take 5 minutes for yourself. Find a quiet place to sit. Then close your eyes and feel yourself breathe. Imagine whatever you want...an endless meadow with flowers gently swaying in the breeze, a beautiful sunset with colors vibrant across the sky, maybe the sound of thunder with the pitter patter of a gentle rain, or Jesus sitting beside you reaching out to hold your hand...
JUST 5 MINUTES. YOU DESERVE IT. AND IT'S OK!
Have a nice day! 

My Child

As I sat under the tree in the coolness of the evening, thoughts about my kid started to drift into prayer. As a parent I always wanted what I thought was best for them. But they were struggling. Struggling with self worth, with who they are, but most of all just wanting to feel loved. I felt like I had been praying the same prayer over and over with no results. Once again I prayed that God would be with them and they would experience His love. My heart was so heavy...
I felt the breeze across my face and heard the rustling of the leaves as I closed my eyes just for a moment hoping maybe this time my prayer would be heard. Then I saw in my minds eye a figure that I recognized as my child, just sitting on their bed. Not far off was the silhouette of another figure which I couldn't quite make out, but was standing there watching over.
I watched as my child lowered their head and I could almost hear the sound from their sobs as their shoulders shook as a result of their obvious pain. My heart broke...
I found myself begging God to do something to help ease their pain and then something happened as He allowed me to watch. This figure went over and sat beside my child and wrapped its arms around them in an embrace that radiated extreme warmth and love. My child was held close until the sobs quieted and the shoulders stopped shaking and they finally lay down and fell into a deep peaceful sleep.
In the glow of that love I recognized that face. Jesus looked at me with compassion and love wanting me to know He does hear my prayers...
I opened my eyes and as I sat under the tree in the coolness of the evening I felt peace knowing God was indeed answering my prayers. 

LOVE

So, as a parent I have always loved my kids. They are my joy, my heart, my reason. I love them so much I would die for them. When they are okay I am okay. When they hurt, I hurt. When I have to watch them struggle because of decisions they have made, my heart breaks. I truely want what's best for them.
Sometimes my kids fight. They argue and disagree even to the point of eventually not talking to each other. They sometimes talk about each other in hateful ways believing they are right and the other is wrong. This saddens me and breaks my heart, but it does not stop me from loving them. In fact I keep telling them they still need to show love towards each other. To put their differences aside and just love each other. That's what life is about, that's what we are about, that's what I am about....LOVE
--God 

He knows me

I was standing out on my balcony this morning (I'm on a cruise  )looking out over the water and the sky and I was thinking about the verse that reminds us of how wide and deep and high God's love is for us. I imagined the depth of the dark blue water, and I looked across the expanse of space towards the horizon and saw no land, then I also noticed the height of the clouds and the sky, and there I am this tiny person standing on this balcony in the big picture of it all. Right there in that moment, God reminded me that He sees me, and He knows me, and He Loves me where I am. He wants you to know He sees you, and He knows you and He loves you where you are also. 
Have a Blessed day!